A First

Today has had many ups and downs.

I sang in the choir at church today and Luke was babysat by his Aunt Sarah. He stayed mostly quiet through almost the whole service, thus proving the woman knows what she's doing. Singing in choir was tons of fun and one of the lovely ladies gave me some baby food items from the pantry that will help immensely in the feeding of the boy.

We went shopping right after church, which resulted in me not breast feeding or having a chance to pump until around 2:30 pm (I had last breast fed at 9:30ish am). I was so thrilled when I pumped an ounce (Luke was asleep). I haven't been able to do that save for one time before Luke went into the hospital. I was elated that all of the pumping and pain was starting to work and maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to stop supplementing sometime in the months to come.

Luke awoke an hour later, breast fed for around 15 minutes and then wanted a bottle. I pumped while I fed him the bottle and barely got out a milliliter. My mind immediately went into the negatives of "Aww man, I was doing so well! I was only deluding myself," and all of the other self depreciating things I do that I shouldn't. Luke finished, I went to burp him, and he threw up almost everything he'd just eaten all down my shirt and into my bra.

I've never been sick to my stomach over one of Luke's bodily functions before, but the smell of his throw up made bile rise in my throat. Jason immediately helped me clean off the baby, get undressed (which left baby vomit in my hair), and get into a shower where I cleaned both myself and the baby. My lovely husband put our clothes in the wash so they didn't stain.

The worst part is I'm still sick to my stomach and it's hours later. I hope it'll pass soon.