We brought the baby home from the hospital last Sunday, which had to be the best Mother's Day present a mom could get. I have barely let him out of my sight since.
We tried some co-sleeping this week and it was incredibly relaxing... until my hip started protesting that it had been in the same spot for too long. Hubby has co-slept with baby a few more times than I and he also finds it to be comforting. However, there's also a sense of terror that comes with co-sleeping and the possibility of rolling on top of the baby or having him fall out of the bed. I'm ok with napping like this, but not all night sleeping.
My main hangup this week has been my inability to do everything I want to. I wanted to go for a walk every day, but only ended up going once. I want to write a minimum of two articles a day, but only wrote four all week. I wanted to clean my apartment and only managed to get half of the laundry done. There aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and get some sleep. I'm afraid if I sacrifice sleep that I'm letting the family down but I'm also letting them down if I don't bring in money and clean.
Unfortunately this frustration is starting to take it's toll on my marriage. My husband is tired of me being moody, since all of this coupled with a lack of breast milk production makes me feel like a failure. Hubby is very supportive, but I can't seem to get around this. Plus money is extra tight while we wait and see if I've been approved for Emergency Unemployment Benefits. I'm trying hard to just focus on the two boys in my life and just relax, but I'm struggling.
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