Bringing Home Baby

Terrified doesn't even begin to touch how I'm feeling at the moment.

My son, Luke, is currently at 9 lbs, 4 oz and will be taken via c-section at noon on Wednesday. After waiting for 39 weeks to meet him, I'll finally be able to hold my little one, snuggle him, and thank him for all the times he kicked my sciatic nerve.

I hope and pray the surgery goes well. My mother will be in the operating room, watching me like a hawk since during her c-section with me she ended up having a seizure and no one seemed to notice. She died twice that day as a result and so she wants to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to me. Of course, my doctor is head and shoulders above my mother's doctor, but we're still being careful. My husband has graciously stepped back and allowed her the option of being by my side since only one family member is allowed in with me during the surgery.

I write for a living (for the most part) picking up jobs wherever I can. I got into freelance writing late 2009 and fell in love with it. I had a day job, but due to the economy my boss had to let me go three months into the pregnancy. Finding a new job has been absolutely impossible in my condition and I'm trying to make the writing a full time gig, but it's really hard to focus with pregnancy brain.

I've never had major surgery, I've never been a mom before (unless you count the cats), and I've never been this uncertain in my life. I am excited for this new venture in my life, I just hope I can handle it.